W A Y N E'S R O O M - Can You Dig it?

The Plumber will hand out the brushes for those of you who are new recruits. The Promoter will hand out the new naval jewels once you select a color. The Dancer will measure you for your costume - she is the one with the tape measure around her neck. Wayne advises us that one must wear a costume - and preferably the "same one" every time you visit the room - so as to jog his memory.

Please come in and pull up a pillow. Burn some incense. Light a candle. You may paint, type, dance, sing or chant. There will be no petty jealousy and sharing is a must. Watch out for flying instant messages - and if you hear anyone moo - a stray got into the room and will be herded out. Enjoy yourself !

Anyone who would like to join as a frequent visitor of Wayne’s room - can try and find us - sometimes we can’t find ourselves - "oh - I’m not there, I'm here!" We constantly check the POV of the room. We have been known to gather in the twilight hours - when the daydreams aren't enough. Do not forget to see The Dancer for your costume - as it can get very, very warm in Wayne's Room.

Even when "life is paradise in Eden" there are problems.......so too in Wayne's Room.

Wayne's Pains

There are a few frequent visitors to Wayne's Room that Wayne has to constantly "Wayne." We call them Wayne's Pains. Once you have been "Wayned" twice you go on the list. The third time Wayne has to remind you to "stay on the subject" Wayne will ask you to leave the room, possibly forever. If you have to leave - only Wayne can get you back in. Wayne also gets to decide what the "Gettin' In" conditions will be. All these women better love Wayne!

Wayne's Pains - Current List

Benny the snitch - caught sneaking in pop tarts - and getting off the subject - although the "subject" wasn't complaining due to the mass quantities of pop tarts previously consumed. Wayne put "Benny" on Weight Watchers. Wayne did not want to watch.

Lingerie Lady - caught hurling undies at Peter on so many occasions that Peter was beginning to develop FLS or "flying lingerie syndrome." This is a condition that only exists in superstars who are incredibly sexy and must constantly be on the alert that they are not hit in the eye by Victoria's secret. This is the only reason that Peter even wears glasses. The "Beige" women were all fighting over the undies - so as to model them for Peter - and so Wayne "Wayned" Lingerie Lady.

Plaster Woman - insisted on bringing in boxes of redi-mix plaster for some unknown reason. The Phantom and the Big Man filed a lawsuit and so Wayne had to evict Plaster Woman.

Cool Whip Chick - Has David confused with a dessert - David was getting sticky and Wayne had to "Wayne" the Cool Whip Chick. Wayne just hopes that "PsychoJello Princess" and Cool Whip Chick do not ever get together as things could get very messy in the room. Wayne is not amused.

She - This mysterious woman is usually seen hanging out at K-Mart in the hair department. She was recently seen in Wayne's with a gross of covered rubber bands for Micky's pony tail, but since Micky actually only needs one at a time - "She" was shooting rubber bands at Lucille and Mary, Mary. Vallerai and Sandra (who loves just plain Mary,) teamed up with "She" and Lucille was getting the worst of it. Lucille, being non-violent, but very very sexy (hehehe) was having a tiff with Vallerai due to her constant screaming during the singing of "her" song. Lucille is trying to calm down Mary, Mary - nobody knows where she went to after the rubber band fight. Wayne really likes the ladies involved but decided they were all dizzy from constant rotation. Wayne bought Vallerai, Lucille, Mary Mary, Sandra and just plain Mary, CD's to avoid any more ditzy behavior. Wayne evicted "She" until K-Mart has run out of covered rubber bands. Wayne actually was amused by this one! He was seen buying first aid creme in K-Mart and volunteered to help Lucille and Vallerai out with the damage done by the rubber bands. Lucille was seen singing the blues to Peter and Vallerai started her screaming when David tried to check out the damage - hehehe - Wayne might get Wayned for this one!

Wayne's Room is constantly under change - be sure to visit often but watch out for Wayne's Pains as they have been known to try and sneak in with the frequent visitors. It is not too difficult to spot Benny the Snitch, but Lingerie Lady, Plaster Woman and especially Cool Whip Chickare known to do almost anything to gain access. Consider them "armed and very dangerous!"

Thanks for visiting Wayne’s Room - All David, All Peter, All Micky, All Mike - all the time. Remember to tip Wayne at the door. And when you leave? The showers are on the left... (cold water only)

And Remember - We Love Wayne... Wayne's Room - L I V E

There comes a time,(sigh...)back (to the) home(page)

Wayne's Pains

Photos by Henry Diltz - all rights reserved. Wayne's Room logo is c.1997 Quill Mark.