The WOW's are now sitting at their respective homes reflecting on the wonder that was 1999. The comaradarie and the sharing of hotel rooms and the sheer & crazy terror of riding with THE PLUMBER in a vehicle - anywhere - especially on the mountian roads of the USA. They are hoping that 2000 shall too become a year of amazement and adventure and aclose to those that amatter.

THE Plumber, THE RAVEN and GRETEL went on a little adventure to finish off the wonderful year 1999. The plan was to meet up at a certain port of call - in a certain state - in which the PINK WOMEN'S host was to hold court. The BEIGEYS were all languishing whilst weaving daisy chains and waiting for spring. It would be a long wait - but ah - there comes a time you know.

As usual - the Plumber and the Raven - being the punctual and schedule minded folk that they are - arrived at the right port of call - at the right time - in the right STATE!

Meanwhile - back at the ranch - Gretel was busy putting on her make up and wondering which Gretel costume to wear with her smorgasborg of goodies for the host - and her suitcase full of camels.

Upon making her decisions - Gretel made her way to the place that her ticket designated - but alas - Gretel missed the boat - uh plane - uh gain and had to wait in the airport for the next opportunity. Good thing Gretel had packed a ton of goodies for the host. No way this little girl was going to miss lunch. The host would just have to do without a salami or two.

The Plumber and The Raven had just about decided that Gretel "might" be a little bit late - again - since they secretly know that Gretel was even late for the funeral she had for herself after meeting the host in the oasis during 1998. (Gretel can now easily die happy quite a few more times since then)

The Raven - with her long and mysterious black hair - was busy collecting telepathic signals. She knew that Gretel would not make it to the rendevezous point on time - today. The Plumber just wanted to get on with it - and the gifts were getting heavy anyway. The Plumber had all those tools to carry as well - cause you never know when someone is going to ask you to fix their pipes. The Raven decided that it would be best to travel to the next destination. And so they did.

A nice drive and a few measures of time later - The Raven and The Plumber arrived at a sign in the road. Which way to go?

"Well that way is always nice - and of course it is nice that way too" - an attractive and not unfamiliar scarecrow suggested.

Hmmmm, maybe that is a farm hand or maybe it is THE GARDNER? OH well, though the R & the P - let's go visit Uncle Henry across the street. He seems nice. And maybe he can tell us which is the way to OZ and WHEN the wizard might be having tea. The Visitor assured everyone that bugs would NOT be served today.

The Plumber and the Raven decided to take a short ride around in the woods to look for interesting forms of wild life. Cows - horses - and all sorts of grocery store items abounded - growing right there in the open with no price tags on them! Wow! The Plumber was amazed. She had never SEEN anything like it in her neck of the buildings. Lucky thing - the Plumber had her camera. Wow what would those country people think of next? Free groceries - right there for the picking and the entire CAST of Old MacDonald's too! WOW!

In a short while - the Plumber and the Raven made one more swing through the woods and magically came upon the secret entrance to OZ. A little road around the side.
"Oh! Let's get out and WALK down the path to see if the wizard is around", said the Plumber.
"Heck, nobody here but us cows and that guy over there, the garnder."

And so The Raven and The Plumber walked down the road - very quietly - and with the most reverance - and bearing gifts for the wizard to insure their safe return home.

Finally - the R & the P spied a lovely garden of springs, indeed a lovely display. Ping, ping, ping.
"What IS that noise?" said the Raven?
Ping, ping, ping, ping.
"Hmmm maybe it is someone putting together a bike," said Gretel from a looooong distance back at the airport and still eating the host's salami. Ping, ping, ping.
"Hellooooooo!?, called the Raven.
"Helllleeeeewwww!" answered the gardner from up the stairs.
"OH my! said the Plumber - it is YOU! The wizard - oh my - oh my, OH MY! - WE thought YOU were the gardner!

The wizard bounded gleefully down the stairs and replied, "I AM THE GARDNER, and everything else around here." Upon receiving the gifts and saying a polite thank-you AND laying a finger aside of his nose, up the stairs he rose.

The Plumber and The Raven were amazed and estactic. And suddenly they heard the noise again. PING, ping, ping. Ping.
"What IS that noise?" said The Plumber. Ping, ping, ping.

Smoke began to pour out of The Plumber and The Raven.
Plumber? said the Raven.
"What?" said the Plumber.
"I have been thinking," said The Raven.
"Oh NO! I thought I smelled smoke," said the Plumber.
"AH HA! I know what that noise is!" said the Raven.
FINALLY The Plumber and the RAVEN realized what the ping, ping, ping noise really was. THE WIZARD is also a gardner and is also a PLUMBER too!!! The 'gardner' was busy fixing the host's pipes. AND OUR Plumber had miraculously arrived in time with her tools to assist along with the telepathic Raven who was busy chanting from something she received in the mail when she sent in a cereal box top.
Oh JOY! RAPTURE! We can click our heels and go home safe in the knowledge that it is indeed a small world....... unless you are stuck in an airport with a sack full of salami and you KNOW that you are missing the road trip, OR you are stuck in a time warp weaving wonderous wreaths of wild daisy chains.... waiting to fly. Next time Gretel will fix her make-up on the plane and forget the salami.

Meanwhile, back at the field, THE PROMOTER was busy hatching plans while THE VISITOR, THE STEW MAN & THE STEW WOMAN and the others who were left out of "THIS" installment of WAYNE'S were busy trying to come up with a new twist ---on BEIGE...

RETURN to your chaise and start peeling grapes...